Posts

Ode to Caregiving

My heart has been heavy lately thinking about all of the other people in my expanded circle of friends and acquaintances who are struggling with cancer or other lingering health problems.  Many of them are caregivers to the sick.  Spouses, siblings, grown children, all of them trying to be strong for the sick while working full time jobs, raising children, and dealing with their own life problems. There was a time in my life when I too was a caregiver.  It was at a time in my life when I was working on the weekends, home schooling preteens, all while juggling my concerns and often preoccupation with my husband's issues.  It was tough, trying to raise children and be compassionate to my husband's darkest days.  It wasn't until my care-giving ended that I realized how exhausted and depleted I felt.   Several years ago the script was flipped and I had a major injury to my leg.  I would have been up a creek without my husband and sister. ...

Lesson Learned

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Have you every felt like a broken toy?  Today I felt  like baby doll with matted hair whose arm had been twisted off by some mean boy.   I was going again to find someone to fix me.   “Hello? I could use some help here?   Something isn’t quite right.” Yes, it’s been over three months since I had immunotherapy.   Miraculously though, my body hasn’t just snapped back.   I’m left with an adrenal insufficiency that no one has still fully explained.   Except to say, here is some hydrocortisone, take it like this twice daily.   My primary physician didn’t want to meddle where another physician was already in charge.   He agreed I should see an Endocrinologist, but there wasn’t much light he shed on the situation. I was appalled.   Never have I discharged a patient from the hospital and given them a blood glucose machine, a bottle of Metformin and said, “you have diabetes now, take this medicine, use this machine.”   Hopef...

Side Effects: The Catch 22

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It is amazing how fast time flies when you are marking  it at three week intervals. Next Wednesday will be the fourth and final of the Nivolumab (Opdivo) and Ipilimumab (Yervoy) therapies for my Stage IV Renal Cell Carcinoma. According to the oncology industry, this is "very well tolerated."  Studies show that  only a small percent of patient's had to stop treatment during clinical trials dueside effects.   As the triage nurse who hears from patients on a daily basis who are going through a wide variety of cancer treatments, I was  cautiously optimistic. Other than some serious itching and increased tiredness, the first cycle went well.  I had an occasional wave of nausea here and there, but nothing intolerable. About three days after the treatment I felt my worst but recovered after a couple of more days. The second cycle hit me a bit harder.  During the first week after treatment I did notice an increase in fatigue, but not much els...

Super Human Super Nurse

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As an oncology nurse I can tell you that cancer is no respecter of persons.  It doesn't care what your standing in the community or church might be or whether or not you are an unmotivated couch potato or leading a spin class.  Cancer isn't checking in to see if this is a good time for a life crisis.  Cancer doesn't care that you just landed a new job or got married or retired or booked a fabulous vacation for six months from now.  It certainly doesn't care if you've been taking care of cancer patients for the past 15 years. In 2013, after a successful total nephrectomy to remove a 10 centimeter tumor from my kidney, I felt I had dodged a bullet.  My tumor was well encapsulated and required no more intervention.  There were people I knew who had died from Renal Cell Cancer and others who were still going strong 10 years after a nephrectomy.   Fast forward five years.  During a routine screening mammogram something was found that cau...